We're having a kid!

[dgaddis]

Well, we can finally tell everyone, we're having our first kiddo!! The wife is 11 weeks along, ETA is March 24th. Found out mid-July, and two weeks ago we had our first doctor's appointment (why won't they see you until 8 weeks??) and got our first picture.

I have to say, I wasn't prepared for that. I was expecting it to look like a little bean, but instead it was a little person! Torso, head, arms/legs. We got to hear the heart beat. Blew me away. We also were lucky enough to see it wiggle around on screen - that qualifies as one of the coolest moments in my life. I know there's more to come that'll surpass that moment, but, it was awesome.

So...knowing nothing about babies or pregnancy, and with it really feeling real after seeing the picture and telling family and friends, I want to be better prepared. I know the best way to learn is by doing, but I figure the more I know going in, the better off I'll be. Knowledge is power and all that.

So, what books/podcasts/articles/etc do you experienced parents recommend?

I've already read 'From Dude to Dad'. We've got 'Baby Wise' as well on the recommendation of some friends who have two great kids.

What else?

[davids]

My recommendation is to minimize the reading. I found that 80% of those baby books drove me crazy, full of every possible problem that you could possibly confront. They're designed to scare the crap out of you.

So, one book: Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems: New, Revised, and Expanded Edition: Richard Ferber: 97874321636: Amazon.com: Books We got this as a shower present and had a "WTF?" reaction - we don't even have the kid yet, much less one with sleep problems. But the ideas in the book, many of which are counter-intuitive, became a model for not only our kid's 'sleep hygiene' but also for behavioral guidance in general. (And my wife had the opportunity, many years later, to ask the man in person how to manage a teenager's sleep patterns! His answer was basically, "avoid jet lag." I'll explain that in 13 years...)

Next, two pieces of advice:

• Parenting is the only thing I've ever done that was hardest at first and got easier. Your newborn will be completely dependent on you, have nearly binary communication skills, and will change week-to-week if not day-to-day. As the kid gets older, it will gain knowledge, skills, experience and independence.
• On the other hand, you only need to be one step ahead of your kid. If the child is one month old, you need to be prepared for a two-month-old. If the kid's eight, get ready for nine. Your child will never know that you weren't ready for teenage moodiness when s/he was a toddler.

And finally: Congratulations! Parenthood is the best.

[MDEnvEngr]

"Baby Wise" was our favorite. After three, my only advise is not to underestimate how smart they are even at the very early stages. If you are not careful they will have you fully trained in a matter of months. Also, do not give up riding - I think it is important for kids to see their parents active and having fun. Being surrounded by riding and riders (our house was/is one of the local trailheads) had somehting to do with three bicycle-loving children. Good luck and have fun!

[ron l edmiston]

-- on my shoulders forever.., but i wasn't the best father.. thankful for tammy being the "bestest" mother..
i was traveling the globe for valvoline and my fathering skills, sorry to own from within, from my father..
military and a totalitarian dictatorship on my behalf, better that i was traveling..
i discovered how much i loved and respected ashley after she went off to the university of florida and has continued
to grow so righteous and awesome..
"i can never go back to where i never once was.."
i am now that father i coulda/woulda/shoulda been.. & the grandfather i am proud of..

my joy for you both and "fly with your child," the journey will be awesome..

ronnie

[KonaSS]

Congrats - agree with others, a few books are ok, but with experience and an open mind, you will figure it out just fine.

Also - echo the advice to keep riding. I recommend that you and the wife allow time for each other to get away and enjoy some "me" time, I think you will be much happier.

And if you can figure out how to make ride time work when they are 3 months, by 3 years, you can usually have all the ride time you want. Too many people I see here say "I have been off the bike for x years as we have had kids." That would have killed me.

[bigbill]

My kid is a week into his senior year in high school. My wife was two months pregnant when I deployed and seven months when I returned. I missed the big hormone roller coaster, darn it. It's not real until you're holding the newborn and see and feel how tiny they are and how totally dependent they are upon you. Then there's the little milestones like hugging back (more like clinging, but I called it hugging), smiling, and laughing. It's amazing to see how they develop and their personality.

I tried reading baby books, but it came down to paying attention to trends (I'm an engineer) and finding the patterns in what makes them fussy or content. My son liked people getting down on his level, looking up made him cranky. As he got older, he didn't want help with his toys but he wanted someone there when he played. He's still like that.

I set up a computrainer in a spare room with a barrier dividing it from the rest of the room. I put a soft rug and toys in the room and he was mostly content to know I was there spinning away and talking to him periodically. Roly Poly Oly was my favorite show to ride while watching. I was a Thomas the Tank Engine fan but it was a little slow for working out.

[dgaddis]

Keep it coming folks.

Riding - I'll certainly keep riding. We've already talked about that. Not just riding, but us still being us. A lot of our friends have kids now, and some did a good job of staying who they were, others let their kids totally take over their lives. They're no longer Tom and Sally, they're Johnny's parents. We don't want to just be someone's parents. Of course there will be changes, but don't want to lose who we are.

As for how dang smart they are - no kidding! My best friend has two little girls, the oldest will turn 4 this November. Last year at Christmas when our group of friends exchanged gifts I gave my buddy Brian a belt buckle. The kids get most of the gifts now of course haha, but no one imagined the kids were paying any attention to anything else going on outside of their new toys. Fast forward about 4 months and we all get together again, the moment Brian walks in the door the oldest kid takes one look at him and says "Mr. Brian you're wearing your new belt buckle." They're freakin' sponges, they absorb everything happening around them whether you realize it or not haha. We live a few hours apart so we only see them every other month or so, but every time it's crazy how much the girls have grown and their new 'skills'. Two months ago we got together for dinner, and afterwards we were standing around outside I was showing the youngest one some flowers and the bees in the flowers. This weekend we got together again, went to the same restaurant, and afterwards when we went outside the little one was looking around the flowers and asking "bee?" trying to find the bees. She's about 1.75yrs old now, is learning a lot of words but isn't quite putting sentences together yet. They're fun.

[Too Tall]

Mazel Tov :)

[Badonkadonk]

congratulations! and with now 3 kids ohhh maternity and birth and infant stuff is a hazy memory - the brain definitely wipes the bad stuff :)

fwiw, the wife and i always learned the sex of the fetuses asap. and you know whats crazy? we were just as surprised every time, and we got to learn and think about our future son / daughter while not in the midst of the most chaotic medical procedure you'll ever be awake for... just my $0.02

[dgaddis]

Oh we're definitely gonna find out the gender beforehand! I see the appeal of the surprise, but we both want to know. We're not doing the reveal party thing tho. We like the idea of buying boy/girl clothes, picking a name, or at least narrowing it down to a select few, she's got a long list of potential names.

Fun randomness - of my college roommates, who all got married at different times, 3 of the 4 of us have our first kid on the way. One is due in a few weeks, and the other is due two weeks after ours. Not that surprising I guess, we're all at the prime (if a bit late) baby-making age. But none of us ever discussed it, just happened to work out that way.

[sk_tle]

First of all congratulation Dustin.

I really liked the idea of now knowing the gender beforehands and nurses in the hospital praised us for that as it is now a rare occurence and the last minutes end up being less mechanical and more about discovery.

Second pregnancy of my partner was more difficult for many reasons and at some point she really wanted to know so it feels more tangible to her. I would have loved not knowing again but it was simply impossible, once she knew she couldn't use neutral ways to name it. We kept it secret between each other tho.

[Corso]

Knowing ahead of time:

Not for me and my wife. We have 3 fantastic children: Girl-Boy-Girl and did not want to know ahead of time.

It’s one of the best unkown--then unveiled-mysteries in life, why spoil it for a can of pink or blue paint?

Not slamming those who want to know, I’m just very glad we didn’t.

Hope everything is going well.

[davids]

Knowing ahead of time:

Not for me and my wife. We have 3 fantastic children: Girl-Boy-Girl and did not want to know ahead of time.

It’s one of the best unkown--then unveiled-mysteries in life, why spoil it for a can of pink or blue paint?

Not slamming those who want to know, I’m just very glad we didn’t.

Hope everything is going well.

I am happy when Corso and I agree!