Robin Williams RIP

[Jason Musgrave]

Terrible. Just terrible. And hits close to home as someone who has struggled with depression. Thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

[fastupslowdown]

Knowing how much he loved cycling, really helped me relate to him. Not only did I love his comedy, but I admired him for his unofficial role as cycling ambassador.

-Mike G

[Len J]

Real depression is a total darkness that the lucky ones who haven't been there find hard to understand. It's that place where the pain is so bad, that ending it is a relief.

It's the place where hopelessness is all you have..... It's never going to end. When you make the decision to die, you don't want anyone else to know.... Stopping you means you stay in the pain.

I've been there.... Planned out the end, was visiting friends one last time...... I was a hairs breath away, serendipitously saved by someone giving me a glimpse into what a normal life was..... It was a before & after moment. That view was a small spark of light in the darkness, but because the darkness was so deep it glowed brightly for me. It saved my life.

41 years later and that darkness is still on the edge of my vision. I haven't lived many days without it, but I've found ways to cope. I'm very lucky.

Upwards of 1 out of 3 Americans suffer from depression, and it's worse in middle aged men. Think about that, if you are lucky enough to not suffer the darkness, then either the person on your tight or the one on your left probably does. Show them some light. They need it....... And it's most likely the last person you think it will be.

William's apparently hung himself with his own belt. Prior to or during that, he tried to cut his wrist.. The bloody knife was nearby. How much pain would you have to be in where doing that was a better alternative than living with the pain? Yea, it's that bad.

Hopefully william's death will enable an open conversation about mental illness & as importantly, a reduction in the stigma associated with it. It's a disease, a chemical imbalance in the brain triggered by external stimuli in an abnormal way. I've lived with the shame of being defective my whole life. Would I feel shame if I had diabetes?, or high blood pressure? Substitute mental illness for either of those and how would you feel?

I'm not suggesting suicide is OK, I'm trying to give you a view from the inside.... It's not simple.

I'll miss William's genius, I'll use his death to remind me of how lucky I am. "There but for the grace of God go I."

If this post is out of line, just delete it.

Len

[Jonathan]

Len, your post is not only inline, its needed. Thanks for sharing your experience.

[Jason Musgrave]

+1, So well put Len

[SpeedyChix]

Len, Thanks for putting this up here.

[rowdyhillrambler]

Len, any group of people that would feel like that is out of line, I would not want to be a part of.

Your post was inline, online, and the line. Seems like you deal with it, but never totally out of it . I hope that we are all friends enough around here to lend each other an ear or shoulder.

[Artie]

So sad. I knew he was struggling with several issues but never imagined it coming to this.
I found this pic on fb this morning. Robin with a beautiful Pegoretti.

RIP.


Screen shot 2014-08-14 at 8.43.17 AM.jpg

[David Tollefson]

Thank you Len. Even being around depression/bi-polar for coming on 5 years now (my wife is diagnosed type-2 bipolar), I really only have a scratch-the-surface understanding, and am barely qualified to broach the subject. I'm totally out of my league in dealing with it most of the time. Maybe that's why RW's death is affecting me this way. I hear the discussions around me at work, the ignorance is maddening.

[Cookietruck]

so it looks like he had early stages of Parkinson's disease as well as the depression and the addictions to various substances.
sounds like a mf'er to deal with...

[David Tollefson]

so it looks like he had early stages of Parkinson's disease as well as the depression and the addictions to various substances.
sounds like a mf'er to deal with...

Sheds new light on things. Having watched Parkinson's take my father slowly to... where he ended up... I'd rather pilot a small plane into a mountainside than go through/put my family through that. No clue how it would be to deal with that plus clinical depression.

[jitahs]

Nice piece with Dario:

Robin Williams and Dario Pegoretti: The Comedian and the Bike Builder - WSJ

[seanile]

Show them some light. They need it....... And it's most likely the last person you think it will be.

i'm one in the ranks of it. so, here's a supporting anecdote for ^this.
i was walking around campus at night a few years ago, in the midst of a bad wave of it all, and sat on a bench by the green line watching the trains go by. it was a cliche night, rainy, windy, dark and flooded with shadows. a group of laughing students paraded by me, heading back from the bars i assumed. one of them off the back of the group saw me and stopped, took a few steps toward me and asked, "are you ok?"
i couldn't express to you now or ever how much that caught me off guard, and how much that gesture meant to me. i stumbled over the words, "yeah, thank you, i'm good." he believed me, smiled and said, "ok, wanted to make sure, have a good one." then hustled off to catch up with his friends.
i got up, and went home to bed feeling better that someone seemed to care without my having to ask them to care.


eta: i'm very disappointed in this comment

Yes, a shame and a waste of talent and life...
But he chose the path he took, both professionally and personally.
I feel badly for his 3 kids and 3 wives he abandoned. I hope his policy covers them.
Celebs are tripping over themselves to come out with a clever tweet on this. Pathetic that this is how his “friends” pay tribute: 140 characters or less…
RIP Robin. Happy trails up above.

it is not a choice.
it is not abandonment.
it is not selfish.

[monadnocky]

Yes, a shame and a waste of talent and life...

But he chose the path he took, both professionally and personally.

I feel badly for his 3 kids and 3 wives he abandoned. I hope his policy covers them.

Celebs are tripping over themselves to come out with a clever tweet on this. Pathetic that this is how his “friends” pay tribute: 140 characters or less…

RIP Robin. Happy trails up above.

As a psychologist who often works with suicidal patients (as does any mental health worker in any capacity), the first two lines here really don't do a good job of empathizing with people who are suffering to this degree. And by "empathizing" I don't mean "sympathizing" - these are two totally different things. I mean understanding the experience of the suicidal person, from a phenomenological perspective. In as much as none of us can understand the contents of another's mind, it's essential to at least make an attempt to understand that many people think of suicide as a totally selfless act - really and sincerely - as you would understand giving money to the poor to be selfless. People really can see themselves as burdens on others around them, regardless of the messages they are sent, regardless of what the "reality" is (and my reality is not your reality, and so on). I have spent lots of time with people who were sincerely and truly (and from their perspective, absolutely accurate) in their belief that the world would be better off without them.

"Choosing the path you take" is at best a very one dimensional and reductionistic way of conceptualizing suicide. I also think it's dismissive, and serves to "other-ize" people who have been there, or even people who have completed suicide. It's certainly one facet that needs to be explored - the facet of personal responsibility and free will - but from a clinical or even phenomenological perspective it's completely useless in terms of treatment, conceptualization, or even human understanding.

[davids]

Depression and suicide is poorly understood, especially when it comes to understanding a specific event.

I remember being very surprised to learn that, for many people, these suicidal thoughts are actually pretty impulsive and transient. If they are not able to easily act on the impulse, they're less likely to attempt suicide.

I think I read this in an article about gun control, one that pointed out that individuals in a home with handguns are five times more likely to commit suicide than those in homes without guns. Other studies showed that 2/3rds of all gun deaths in the US are suicides, and around half of all suicides are by gunshot. But that's another thread altogether...

[XR2]

Experiencing the darkness that removes all rational thought is something I wish on few. Honestly those who call it (suicide) the cowards way out,selfish,ect. are those who I wish I could give you 30 seconds of that dark forbidding place. The look on your face would do me wonders. I am selfish enough to do it if I could. There are things you really don't want to know or understand.

This still brings tears to my eyes.

[Jeffrey Borisch]

Experiencing the darkness that removes all rational thought is something I wish on few. Honestly those who call it (suicide) the cowards way out,selfish,ect. are those who I wish I could give you 30 seconds of that dark forbidding place. The look on your face would do me wonders. I am selfish enough to do it if I could. There are things you really don't want to know or understand.

It must be as foreign sounding to them as us trying to imagine what it's like never being in that place.

IOW... trying to empathize from the other side of the fence.

[Corso]

As a psychologist who often works with suicidal patients (as does any mental health worker in any capacity), the first two lines here really don't do a good job of empathizing with people who are suffering to this degree. And by "empathizing" I don't mean "sympathizing" - these are two totally different things. I mean understanding the experience of the suicidal person, from a phenomenological perspective. In as much as none of us can understand the contents of another's mind, it's essential to at least make an attempt to understand that many people think of suicide as a totally selfless act - really and sincerely - as you would understand giving money to the poor to be selfless. People really can see themselves as burdens on others around them, regardless of the messages they are sent, regardless of what the "reality" is (and my reality is not your reality, and so on). I have spent lots of time with people who were sincerely and truly (and from their perspective, absolutely accurate) in their belief that the world would be better off without them.

"Choosing the path you take" is at best a very one dimensional and reductionistic way of conceptualizing suicide. I also think it's dismissive, and serves to "other-ize" people who have been there, or even people who have completed suicide. It's certainly one facet that needs to be explored - the facet of personal responsibility and free will - but from a clinical or even phenomenological perspective it's completely useless in terms of treatment, conceptualization, or even human understanding.

Although I believe you have over-analyzed my simple post, I want to thank you for the education.
I sincerely hope you are able to help those who need it.