How to ruin a group ride:. V Only Mondays

[stackie]

Have a group ride without a patron. That's the real problem here. There needs to be a master with enough respect/legs to control the ride. Do some teaching. Tell the jerk on the tri bike that barely shifts to stop bringing it out.

I remember getting "taught" how to ride in a group and greatly appreciate it. I just wish now I had the consistency and legs to go out there and control the ride. Sadly, I don't. I ride maybe 40% of the Saturday rides. And I'm never in the shape to control it.

Jon

[SteveP]

confuse a group ride with your own training ride.

every group ride needs a chieftain and objectives.

[caleb]

How about the guy who always seems to be on an ultra-tight schedule, but doesn't let you know that until you're committed to riding with him?

You ride a half hour over to his house and he's rapidly filling water bottles and stuffing things in his jersey pockets. As he wheels his bike out of the garage, he glances at his watch and casually says, "Shoot, better get going. Gotta be back in 58 minutes," before clipping in and immediately turning it up to 11.

57 minutes later he breathlessly crash-lands his bike into the garage, hollers "Thanks for the ride!" over his shoulder, and runs toward the shower.

What?!

[dgaddis]

Don't be self reliant.

Show up needing to borrow things.

Don't know the route.

No repair tools or items.

[Matthew Strongin]

Worst things about group rides well specc'd above. Worst thing in some ways is the "necessity" of joining them - sometimes get tired of riding around alone so have to accept the "compromises" of the groups.

Just gotta find the right group. Since I've started joining my not really open to the public regular saturday ride it's become the highlight of the week. The right mix of conversation pace, tearing off legs, and easy spinning with a group of completely trustworthy wheels who happen to be fun to hang out with even off the bike. Folks you want to see even if you know you'll be cursing them an hour later for pulling at 33 during the free-for-all portion of the ride.

[steamer]

I don't do public, 'show and go' group rides. I only like to ride solo or in a group no bigger than about 5. And those 4 other people are well known to me to not be annoying, nor I to them (as far as I know).

[Too Tall]

There is a common thread here. Good group rides have a beneficent host with strong legs who knows how to make it (whatever) for everyone.

There is almost no in between.

The best and most consistently good group rides I've ever been on are Vsalon get togethers.

[Saab2000]

I love group rides mostly in France where I ride with people that have mostly been riding all their life. I get annoyed by most of the groups in CA where they keep on yelling stupid stuff like car up, car back. If the case is not a danger there is no reason to yell. Also stop pointing stuff on the road that is not dangerous, it's annoying.

Yeah I hear ya.... But I will be that guy who yells, "Car back" when there is a guy or several who are hogging the middle of the road (as in yellow line.....) and don't care about the 5 cars that are trying to pass.

[MarkC]

Vsalon get togethers.

Sure, but if that happened every week it would be a non-starter. We'd all go bankrupt trying to one-up each other with new toys. OTOH, it would provide a market for the new $1,500 special edition frame pump.

Which is all a very cryptic way of saying we need to do a VS Delaware River canal path / Hell of Hunterdon ride this fall.

[Saab2000]

Sure, but if that happened every week it would be a non-starter. We'd all go bankrupt trying to one-up each other with new toys. OTOH, it would provide a market for the new $1,500 special edition frame pump.

Which is all a very cryptic way of saying we need to do a VS Delaware River canal path / Hell of Hunterdon ride this fall.

I'm hoping to do one east coast ride this year, or a pair of the same rides: I had a blast with the early morning, pre-show rides we did with Josh and Boyd in Philadelphia at the Philly Bike Expo. Don't know if that is close to the Delaware River Canal Path or not..??

[Too Tall]

I'm down. Send deets offline.

Sure, but if that happened every week it would be a non-starter. We'd all go bankrupt trying to one-up each other with new toys. OTOH, it would provide a market for the new $1,500 special edition frame pump.

Which is all a very cryptic way of saying we need to do a VS Delaware River canal path / Hell of Hunterdon ride this fall.

[Drew]

Ooohhhh man what a hot button for me. I've nearly given up on road riding this year because of all the #superdouches who have shown up to group rides this year. MTB keeps me sane :)

Issue #1: people who stand up on "climbs" that are really just rollers. Come on. Just let the pace drop a little, we don't need to hammer up every hill. It's been about half a dozen times this year that I'll be on a wheel, and the jackass in front of me stands up... and doesn't do a good job of it... ie, can't do it smoothly without his bike rolling back. His bike immediately comes back into mine. Thankfully I can usually anticipate this and avoid it... but I've told off a couple of people who have done it this year. Me: "WTF mate?!?!?!" Him: "You gotta problem?" Me: "Yes! You're a jackass!" No joke, that actually happened. He was quiet the rest of that ride. First time, I'll mention it and say "hey, do you know what happens when you do that?" Most people get it, and don't do it again. Happens twice, you get an earful.

Issue #2: folks who pull through at Mach2Fast4U. Come on. You've been on a wheel through a paceline of 10-12 riders. You've got energy in the bank. We go 22-ish, you pull through and step it up to 26... then the guy that just towed your ass gets dropped because the back of the paceline is sprinting to catch back on. Assclowns. The guy that rolls off the front slows down. The line doesn't speed up. Grow up. URG

Issue #3: FUCKING HEADPHONES!!!! DON'T WEAR HEADPHONES ON GROUP RIDES!!! true story: Guy shows up from another town, first time on our ride. Our rides aren't super fast, but they're not slow either. Usually average 35 miles, 2000-2500' climb, 19-20 pace. Guy shows up, he's pretty quick. Wears headphones in both ears. At the back of the line, it's yo-yo-ing a bit, I am behind #superdouche with his headphones on (earbuds in both ears). I forget why, but I end up alongside him, and yell out "on yer left!!!" loud enough that the three guys in front of #superdouche confirmed they heard it. He decides to be tough and pull off the back and sprint around everybody... but doesn't realize I am next to him. Slam on brakes, wind up dropped off the back. Whatever. I keep on digging, and stay about 200 yards off the back, but at mostly the same pace... don't want to get back mixed up with this dude. Buddies realize I'm off the back and they wait at a gas station, #superdouche is sitting on his top tube, chillin. Buddies ask what happened. Verbatim, I say "nothing really, just nearly got run off a couple times by THAT DOUCHEBAG"... accompanied by an outstretched pointer finger at #superdouche. He is completely oblivious. I ride OTB for the rest of the ride and enjoy it :) There were a couple of other incidents with #superdouche on that same ride. Don't wear headphones on a group ride... we've got a policy now that if you put headphones in, whole group will stop until you take 'em out. Unacceptable. If you want the risk of riding on the road with headphones in, do it by yourself!!!

Anyway. I guess I can always find a way to enjoy it, it's just really annoying when some people ruin it. /rant

[Saab2000]

Another one....

No TT bikes or riding on TT bars on a group ride. Ever.

The only time TT bars belong in a group is if you're Bradley Wiggins towing 3 other riders to a gold medal in the team pursuit or if you're competing in a grand tour or world championship team time trial. Otherwise TTing is a solo event and your TT bike and your Fabian Cancellara position have no place in a group paceline.

[Lionel]

Yeah I hear ya.... But I will be that guy who yells, "Car back" when there is a guy or several who are hogging the middle of the road (as in yellow line.....) and don't care about the 5 cars that are trying to pass.

Different , I am talking about the idiot constantly saying car up, car back because he is on a group ride. STFU, we are on the roads they are cars other people see them too.

[edoz]

Not understanding how a paceline works and coming from somewhere in the back up to the front to take your pull.
Popular with the middle aged beer belly Lance era cyclist.

[SteveP]

Rules here.
NEVER A CEL PHONE, TRI BARS, EAR BUDS. NON NEGOTIABLE
Go through too hard and stevep holds yr jersey on the next climb
Go off the front and stevep alters the route and you are no longer on it.
They learn fast after being pooched one time... Esp if they don't know where they are.
Arrive at the 8am ride at 8:05 and you will ride alone..
It is grossly disrespecting of the 12 riders ready to go on time to show up and expect them to wait for you.

[Matthew Strongin]

Issue #2: folks who pull through at Mach2Fast4U. Come on. You've been on a wheel through a paceline of 10-12 riders. You've got energy in the bank. We go 22-ish, you pull through and step it up to 26... then the guy that just towed your ass gets dropped because the back of the paceline is sprinting to catch back on. Assclowns. The guy that rolls off the front slows down. The line doesn't speed up. Grow up. URG

If you position yourself on asshat's wheel, when he dials it up to 26 you can just stay steady at 22. He'll get the point after rolling off the front a few times. And if not, he'll end up soloing for the "win" and essentially doing his own group ride.

[Drew]

If you position yourself on asshat's wheel, when he dials it up to 26 you can just stay steady at 22. He'll get the point after rolling off the front a few times. And if not, he'll end up soloing for the "win" and essentially doing his own group ride.

Word... that's pretty much what I did, except I had no desire to be on that guy's wheel so I just roll off the back and keep the group within eyesight. Thankfully I've got enough legs that I can basically solo the whole ride at the same pace. I just feel for the newer folks who are still impressionable and think that pulling through at Mach2Fast4U is acceptable... we have a "core" of 5-6 guys that ride every week, rain or shine, and a steady revolving door of newbies and/or friends of friends. Core group doesn't want to alienate the rest of the cyclists in the area, so we deal with the problems, first we try to pull people aside and teach them how to be better... but you can only do that so many times.

[Too Tall]

Nooope. Broken group rides are not fixable. Either move the start and tell only the one guy/gal with manners or ride alone. You can also turn into Raging Bull if it is "YOUR RIDE" which is more to the point. Somebody has to be boss, teach lead by example or go home.

We all used to have a group ride that worked.

[bigbill]

Our headphones guy is also the guy who has the most flats, has caused all of the crashes, and is the worst rider in the group. Last week I had come off a pull and was sliding back when he started forcing me over towards the edge of the road. I said "on your right, hold your line" which I keep forgetting means nothing to this group even if he could hear me. I finally reach over and push him away which freaks him out causing everyone to grab their brakes. There were some wheel touches but no crash. Same guy also told me "hey, I need some tubes, got any extra?" Two years ago he did the Hotter than Hell ride and came back complaining about the other riders who kept telling him to go to the back or get out of their group, just doesn't get it.

The best group was the SDBC ride from a shop in LaJolla. There were leaders in each group who enforced rules, kept the group together, and would ride up and down the group talking to everyone and making sure new people felt welcome. Somehow we still went pretty fast.