Dear Hipsters, sometimes you get it so very wrong it hurts and ...

[Too Tall]

I'd like to put my arm around you, go for a walk and let's have a talk about how "light roasts" are not the last word in coffee beans.

Holy he!! out of desperation I've fell for it. As it says on my domain www.tootalls-coffeeroaster-is-dead.com blog, I am now with you commonfolk relying on the kindness of strangers for my roasted beans. Being that my true nature is a trusting soul who believes that any human being that roasts a bean is superior, honest in possession of virtue no less than Mother Teresa herself. Yeah? With me so far?

Last week I was out and about doing NFS deliveries on the Moto and spied a storied roaster near Logan Circle. I won't tell you the name of the shop because those sweet deluded hipsters in their tight jeans are already struggling enough as is to maintain the persona. They do not need an angry hoard of VS true believers rushing the joint with pitchforks...ok ok I'm taking this too far whatever.

The point of all this is that in my limited view of the roasted bean world there is almost never a reason to tout "light" roasted beans as the cats meow. They can be interesting but almost never a daily fair...YET the sweet faced hipster sales persons reaction when I asked for a couple pounds of City+ Ethiopian if they had it was (an this is a near exact quote) "we do not sell any dark roasts, all of our beans are light to medium light roasts which preserve the flavor nuances". I blinked "yah gotta be sh!ttn' me parder".

Dewds, I was down to stems and seeds I needed a bag of beans and foolishly bought two.

As I sit in the Airstream GRINDING away at these rocks, seriously the fekin' beans are so under-roasted they are almost too hard for my grinder, I'm laughing at this. What have we become to allow the sweet hipsters go unchecked.

It's time to hug your hipster and tell them the truth.

XXOO bitches.

[NYCfixie]

I'd like to put my arm around you, go for a walk, and let's have a talk about how [insert topic here] is/are not the last word in [insert topic here].

It's time to hug your hipster and tell them the truth.

I believe this framework can be used for anything related to hipsters (i.e. ironic facial hair, man buns, brewing beer, personal space, uptalking).

[SlowPokePete]

I blinked "yah gotta be sh!ttn' me parder".

Dark roast or DEATH...

SPP

[Too Tall]

Dark roast or DEATH...

SPP

Good tee shirt.

[mzilliox]

while i agree there is a point of too light, the point of too dark comes much faster and is much worse. Lots of people seem to love the taste of burn, not coffee. thats weird.

Dark roasts are a waste of coffee, or a solution for bad coffee

[bigbill]

First off, I'm a coffee achiever. I spent 27 years doing deployments in the Navy and have run the gamut of coffee. In the work and home environment, I equate a good cup of coffee to an ice cold Coca-Cola you have on a long summer ride. It fixes everything. I could have the worst day ever on deployment but a good cup would make it all ok, even that one time when I had a bone sticking out. Coffee should be rich, something to savor, and not try to do too much. A good coffee stands alone, it doesn't need anything, coffee flavored coffee.

When I was stationed in Sardinia, I went to the local grocery to buy coffee for my French press. They didn't sell coffee, the manager directed me to a café that sold coffee. I wasn't to make my own, I was to plop down a euro at Guido's for a cup. I got it. But it was still really inconvenient. A friend in Tacoma roasted his own and sent me several vacuum bags of his own dark roast. It was wonderful coffee, rich and smooth.

I think all the hipsters who want to change our coffee habits should be rounded up and sent to Italy where they'll be forced to order a decaf at the end of a dinner. They can face the shame when the waiter arrives with a cup of hot water and tosses a packet of Sanka on the table in disgust.

[Scott G.]

while i agree there is a point of too light, the point of too dark comes much faster and is much worse. Lots of people seem to love the taste of burn, not coffee. thats weird.
[snip]

If it didn't taste burnt, it wouldn't be Starbucks.

[jmgorman]

Toots - come on down to Alexandria. Swings has been in business long enough to know how to light roast and have the experience not to burn the (still available in some great variety) dark roasts.

They'll even let you play around in the lab if you ask real nice.

[PaMtbRider]

while i agree there is a point of too light, the point of too dark comes much faster and is much worse. Lots of people seem to love the taste of burn, not coffee. thats weird.

Dark roasts are a waste of coffee, or a solution for bad coffee

Beer is the same way. I'm not going to drink a Coors light, but I also don't want my beer so bitter that it isn't drinkable.

[mmoore]

^agreed. recently had a "bitter" beer
was like drinking a warheads candy.

couldn't finish it.

[Too Tall]

I can not stand dark roasts beyond second crack. Vienna and such are an abomination. The lighter roasts can be terrific if they are taken to first crack and stopped just when the carmel flavors are coming out. The crack this shop sold me smelled like fresh chaff. I'd like to put it in a pan and finish the work they left behind garrrrrrr. I've ruined enough beans to know a thing or two.

Bill, we can hang, I feel the same.

Swings eh? That is a great idea.

Bitter beer boo. Hand me a Dale's please, it's hopped up but not bitter. Good idea Dan, I need a beer.

[guido]

Wimps.

[Too Tall]

Wimps.

Awww come on over for a big long lingering hug.

[guido]

Awww come on over for a big long lingering hug.

Next time i'm in the neighborhood you are on...

[Gradient]

Dark roast or DEATH...

SPP

RBC_DMR_poster_500x500.jpg

[Wisco]

while i agree there is a point of too light, the point of too dark comes much faster and is much worse. Lots of people seem to love the taste of burn, not coffee. thats weird.

Dark roasts are a waste of coffee, or a solution for bad coffee

What I don't get about the "dark roast crowd" is how they like coffee where you taste only the roast not the inherent flavor profile of the bean and the cherry. The good lighter roasts leave the fruit and flower flavors/smells and when brewed correctly are really clean at the finish assuming Chemex, V60 or Hario pour over brew. With light roasts, you also can taste the differences between different single origin beans while dark all taste the same to me... and burnt. In the end, roast is one of the many factors in a cup of coffee but roast can overshadow everything. YMMV.

[sk_tle]

Do hipsters still exist ?

That said, give me a Gyokuro any day.

[gt6267a]

First crack is normally high 300s. Wiki is saying 385. Fcuking morons ...

How Do You Make White Coffee?

White Coffee is made by roasting coffee beans at a lower temperature and for half of the time that regular coffee is roasted. White Coffee is half-baked! To be more specific, White Coffee is roasted to around 325 Degrees whereas fully roasted coffee is roasted to anywhere from 450 Degrees to 480 Degrees. Think of it as a really, really rare steak. You can roast White Coffee at home but unless you have the time and energy, it’s popular enough now that you can find it online easily.

[gt6267a]

I forgot a great quote. Be careful to not hurt your weak-ass grinder:

How Do You Brew White Coffee?

White Coffee comes out of the roaster much denser and harder than fully-roasted coffee. For this reason, it requires a much more powerful grinder than any home model. Most coffee roasters grind their White Coffee Beans for you so that you do not ruin your home coffee grinder. Once it arrives, White Coffee is brewed the exact same way regular coffee is brewed. At Poverty Bay, we grind it in a way that is suitable for Home Coffee Brewers, Espresso Machines, and Keurig Reusable Cups.

[deano]

I will once in awhile enjoy me a medium roast, but dark is for me. Light roast has too much caffeine (I am told) and makes me pee CocaineJetALightning.