Get Your Grump on Thursdays - Was (What's chapping my @ss today?)

[chasea]

i hate the word: actually. and i have for a long long time. its utterly unnecessary in any instance, and its used constantly for every kind of stall/filler/bullshit. i hate it and i'll tell ya: women are the biggest offenders!!!
"hey are you guys coming to the party" "actually we have dinner plans"
"can i get some steamers and a dogfish" "actually, we're out of the dogfish"
"hello, may i speak w/mr smith" "actually, he's in a meeting"
it drives me crazy and is at the very top of the list of words i hate to hear!
neat huh? riveting?

"Literally."

[Mookies]

"Literally."

"Categorically"..... Hearing that WAY too much lately.

[chasea]

College kids.
Small dog owners.
Facebook parents.
Stop inviting me to your events. I don't even live in your town.
Pictures of feet or food or the sky.
Cat-anything racers. Could you be more arrogant about your hobby?
Smartphone zombies.
Normal people who work boring jobs and go to regular-ass bars as their form of excitement.
The J House in Greenwich.
Times Sq.
Ok, just tourists in general.
Houseguests.
"Intellectuals."
Idiots.
Bands without drummers.
Young comedians.
People who sing or rap to their iPods in public.
Neighborhood panhandlers who hit me up daily.
People who hang out inside the bodega.
Most people in the film industry.
The Lower East-packing District.

More to come...

[Saab2000]

Water-only café opens to flood of criticism in New York City | The Sideshow - Yahoo! News

Overuse of the word "Artisan". But I'll be OK with it when I can refer to my flying as "Artisan Airmanship" and charge a premium for it.

Artisan water? WTF?

[robin3mj]

The HOA president who sends me a warning email 5 minutes after watching my dog do her business on the grass, followed up by a USPS letter a day later, cc'ing the HOA board, our landlord, Mayor Emmanuel, Harry Caray, and Al Capone.

Just walk the ten feet out your front door and talk to me like a human adult person.

[Saab2000]

The HOA president who sends me a warning email 5 minutes after watching my dog do her business on the grass, followed up by a USPS letter a day later, cc'ing the HOA board, our landlord, Mayor Emmanuel, Harry Caray, and Al Capone.

Just walk the ten feet out your front door and talk to me like a human adult person.

I live in a condo too. I'm familiar with these cowards.

[corko]

The HOA president who sends me a warning email 5 minutes after watching my dog do her business on the grass, followed up by a USPS letter a day later, cc'ing the HOA board, our landlord, Mayor Emmanuel, Harry Caray, and Al Capone.

Just walk the ten feet out your front door and talk to me like a human adult person.

.... you might have a gun?

[robin3mj]

I live in a condo too. I'm familiar with these cowards.

It was bad enough when we lived in a similar townhouse complex where we actually owned the house.
Now, as renters, they see us as interlopers who don't belong, and are (categorically) the cause of their decreased property values.

When I asked for a copy of the HOA rules, this guy, who lives (literally) 2 doors down and seemingly has nothing better to do, (actually) tells me I can only get them from the owner, who has since moved to Manhattan and is unknown to me as anything other than the recipient of my monthly rent check.

[jitahs]

College kids.
Small dog owners.
Facebook parents.
Stop inviting me to your events. I don't even live in your town.
Pictures of feet or food or the sky.
Cat-anything racers. Could you be more arrogant about your hobby?
Smartphone zombies.
Normal people who work boring jobs and go to regular-ass bars as their form of excitement.
The J House in Greenwich.
Times Sq.
Ok, just tourists in general.
Houseguests.
"Intellectuals."
Idiots.
Bands without drummers.
Young comedians.
People who sing or rap to their iPods in public.
Neighborhood panhandlers who hit me up daily.
People who hang out inside the bodega.
Most people in the film industry.
The Lower East-packing District.

More to come...

Why bother? Just say you're a misanthrope today.

[j44ke]

NYC women in cafes who talk a bit too loudly in carefully cultivated graduate speak about gender objectification and the dehumanizing social aspect of being objectified daily by the impersonal stares of men in this great big inhuman city while wearing a pair of shorts any halfway skilled gynecologist would not have to remove in order to do a full exam and a shirt made out of wax paper and cellophane with 10" Jacques Derrida platform heels.

If letting your janglies breathe and your underworld see the light of day gets your buzz going, then get your buzz going. But don't disguise it in a cloak of invisibility that you made in graduate school. That education cost your parents plenty. Use it to save the world or something.

[chasea]

Why bother? Just say you're a misanthrope today.

Today?

[monadnocky]

While we're at it, "rate of speed." Stop saying this. Stop it now. Especially if you are a police officer. Speed is a rate. PLEASE STOP.
"moving forward." You hear it in business a lot and on the media. Oh, I'm glad you clarified that something you're talking about doing takes place in the future. For a moment I thought you had invented time travel and something you plan to do might - just might - take place the day before yesterday.

[chasea]

"Fuck this whole city and everyone in it; from the row houses in Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho, from the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park Slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fucking ash. And then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat infested place."

-Spike Lee

[zetroc]

"Fuck this whole city and everyone in it; from the row houses in Astoria to the penthouses on Park Avenue, from the projects in the Bronx to the lofts in Soho, from the tenements in Alphabet City to the brownstones in Park Slope to the split-levels in Staten Island. Let an earthquake crumble it. Let the fires rage. Let it burn to fucking ash. And then let the waters rise and submerge this whole rat infested place."

-Spike Lee

Great book, great movie. One of my all time favorite reads.

[chasea]

Great book, great movie. One of my all time favorite reads.

Shit. Spike Lee didn't even write the screenplay.

I'm having one helluva day.

[false_aesthetic]

Goddamn contractors installing homasote on top of drywall with finishing nails and LiquidNails.

1) Screws and finishing washers not fast enough?
2) How bout just screws?
3) WTF. Finishing nails?!?!

40-50 blobs of LiquidNails per 4x8 sheet. 6.5 4x8 sheets.

Option 1: Scrape. Belt sand. Patch ~ 300 blobs
Option 2: Cut out. Patch. Sand ~ 300 blobs.
Option 3: Furring Strips + new sheet rock. Extend outlets, fire alarm, data ports, etc.
Option 4: Demo + re-rock.

All options will cost $2500-$3k.

OR

I can come in after 9pm when all of the facilities management peeps leave and do it myself. @#$$%W#$!!!! union bullshit. (Last time I painted a wall here the painting boss came in and said, "If you do that again we'll come in and paint it back, charge you for that and then charge you to paint it the color you want. You must call us first." WTF!?!? This is why the school's tuition is 50k a year and my salary is shit.)

[zetroc]

Shit. Spike Lee didn't even write the screenplay.

I'm having one helluva day.

Sorry about that.

[Too Tall]

Steve Porino's freshly pressed polo shirt is obscene.

Words with friends

[taz]

Dude I kinda know is coming to the city to crash on my couch. Wife and kids are out of town. His town sucks. New York doesn't. Hey, he kinda knows me. Why not have me play tour guide for the weekend?

People do this to me at least half a dozen times a year. It sucks.

Motherfucker better be gone by Sunday morning so Darren can drag my ass around CT again.

Chase - i'll be there around six Sunday night. Only gonna be in town a week. I bought a saddle from Darren once so that makes us bros, right?

- t

[burgess1108]

Cue sheets on a Tuesday night club ride. We do circles around town. You're not going to get lost.