Bird shit first world problem

[sk_tle]

So I have this roof top terrace that I would spend so much more time on if it wasn't constantly in need of cleaning. I don't mind the occasional dump but this is just getting out of hand and it would be irresponsible to power wash it every week or several times a week given the state of water reserves. Like 2-3 times a week I even have to reclean some clothes I left drying outside because of bird shit. It is probably aggravated by the fact some of my neighbours are so stupid they give them food [1].

I guess I already know the answer but just in case, is there a non cruel way to gently tell them to maybe fly above other roofs?

I was thinking about maybe installing a kind of kite looking like a bird of prey but surely they would quickly get used to it and just ignore it?

[1] I don't criticize people making bird nests and provide food for places where birds population is declining but here we are talking a striving population of pigeons, seagulls and invasive species such as the quaker parrot which invaded all europe in recent years to the detriment of endemic species such as sparrows. We live just by the seaside, temperature is mild in winter and there are so many restaurants with open terace all year long that birds have no problem finding food all year long.

[j44ke]

You need a border collie.

Or an awning. One of these. Just need to weight each leg to keep it from going airborne. Sand bags work.

[Bob Ross]

Just need to weight each leg to keep it from going airborne. Sand bags work.

Only if you have a lot of them. Ask me how I know.

[fastupslowdown]

I can't read this thread without thinking Mel Brooks "The Birds" scene from High Anxiety-Mike G

[sk_tle]

Only if you have a lot of them. Ask me how I know.

Not a big fan of trial and error. We are talking a 3 stories building. Not super high but I don't want to kill a neighbor.

I once forgot to remove the fabric part of my self standing Ikea hammock before going to bed. The night was quite windy and I woke up with a loud bang in the middle of the night. When I checked I found out the frame of the hammock was halfway over the guardrail pulled by the fabric acting like a sail. That was quite frightening to think that thing could have flown across the street and hit someone.

[sk_tle]

I can't read this thread without thinking Mel Brooks "The Birds" scene from High Anxiety-Mike G

That is not too far from reality. A seagull standing on one of those gooseneck shaped lamp post took a dump on my girlfriends head while she was riding her bicycle a few months ago. I must admit every once in a while when I am riding I am remembered of this and give a quick glance at the lamp posts!

[htwoopup]

That is not too far from reality. A seagull standing on one of those gooseneck shaped lamp post took a dump on my girlfriends head while she was riding her bicycle a few months ago. I must admit every once in a while when I am riding I am remembered of this and give a quick glance at the lamp posts!

In some cultures, if you were shat (is that the right way to write the tense?) upon it is interpreted as meaning that good luck is coming to you.

[sk_tle]

In some cultures, if you were shat (is that the right way to write the tense?) upon it is interpreted as meaning that good luck is coming to you.

In france that is what we say if we put a step on dog or cow poo.

[j44ke]

Well if you have gulls, then that's a whole other problem. You won't win.

[bigbill]

I've got a plastic owl with a bobble head. We used these at my last job. https://www.amazon.com/Bird-Gone-RFL...%2C830&sr=8-10

[Peter Polack]

That is not too far from reality. A seagull standing on one of those gooseneck shaped lamp post took a dump on my girlfriends head while she was riding her bicycle a few months ago. I must admit every once in a while when I am riding I am remembered of this and give a quick glance at the lamp posts!

I work on the roof of a lot of buildings. I was once doing so, replacing an antenna, when I noticed a seagull chick in a corner. I left it alone. But mom came along and with artful aim, shit on me not once, but TWICE.

In some cultures, if you were shat (is that the right way to write the tense?) upon it is interpreted as meaning that good luck is coming to you.

There once was an ornithologist whose name I forget, who was in search of a rare bird called the Foo bird. I can't recall where he found it but when he did eventually spot it, the bird promptly shit on him then flew away. Pissed but happy, the good person went home, showered off the poop, and promptly died.

Hearing of this, another bird watcher now knowing where the Foo bird might be spotted, went to see one himself. And he did. Damn if the thing didn't shit on him as well. Unfazed, the man went home and washed off the poop. He promptly died.

A third bird watcher, hearing of the other two's luck then demise went to see the Foo bird for herself. But she was smart. She finally spotted the elusive Foo bird but when it shit on her she didn't wash it off, and she lived.

The moral of the story is, if the Foo shits, wear it.

[j44ke]

The gravel ballast on a lot of flat roofs found on shopping mall buildings is perfect for nesting terns and gulls. They take over when the mall goes belly up.

https://fl.audubon.org/news/gravel-r...and-shorebirds

[TonyP]

I work on the roof of a lot of buildings. I was once doing so, replacing an antenna, when I noticed a seagull chick in a corner. I left it alone. But mom came along and with artful aim, shit on me not once, but TWICE.



There once was an ornithologist whose name I forget, who was in search of a rare bird called the Foo bird. I can't recall where he found it but when he did eventually spot it, the bird promptly shit on him then flew away. Pissed but happy, the good person went home, showered off the poop, and promptly died.

Hearing of this, another bird watcher now knowing where the Foo bird might be spotted, went to see one himself. And he did. Damn if the thing didn't shit on him as well. Unfazed, the man went home and washed off the poop. He promptly died.

A third bird watcher, hearing of the other two's luck then demise went to see the Foo bird for herself. But she was smart. She finally spotted the elusive Foo bird but when it shit on her she didn't wash it off, and she lived.

The moral of the story is, if the Foo shits, wear it.

I'm pissed because I could only give you one thumbs up. Enjoyed the story.

[vertical_doug]

So I have this roof top terrace that I would spend so much more time on if it wasn't constantly in need of cleaning. I don't mind the occasional dump but this is just getting out of hand and it would be irresponsible to power wash it every week or several times a week given the state of water reserves. Like 2-3 times a week I even have to reclean some clothes I left drying outside because of bird shit. It is probably aggravated by the fact some of my neighbours are so stupid they give them food [1].

I guess I already know the answer but just in case, is there a non cruel way to gently tell them to maybe fly above other roofs?

I was thinking about maybe installing a kind of kite looking like a bird of prey but surely they would quickly get used to it and just ignore it?

[1] I don't criticize people making bird nests and provide food for places where birds population is declining but here we are talking a striving population of pigeons, seagulls and invasive species such as the quaker parrot which invaded all europe in recent years to the detriment of endemic species such as sparrows. We live just by the seaside, temperature is mild in winter and there are so many restaurants with open terace all year long that birds have no problem finding food all year long.

how much does it cost to rent a bird of prey occasionally? My daughter had problems with pigeons until a Peregrine moved into the neighborhood.

[rwsaunders]

how much does it cost to rent a bird of prey occasionally? My daughter had problems with pigeons until a Peregrine moved into the neighborhood.

We finished a project serval years ago in Vancouver, WA that became plagued by pigeons until our client contracted a falconer to “thin the flock”.

[j44ke]

According to the Washington Post, wearing a large Bald Eagle costume works.

https://wapo.st/3HoQvGd

[sk_tle]

They look pretty unfazed. Looks to me they could achieve the same result without the costume if it takes him to run after them.

[ides1056]

I'd try this.

[bigbill]

This one time.. On my last submarine before becoming an officer and leaving the community, we pulled into San Diego for a three week port call. We were stationed at Bangor (WA) Submarine Base so we were looking forward to sunny SoCal. We opened the engine room escape trunk to bring on shore power and one of my guys went topside. A few moments later, he made some weird noises and came back down the ladder. He was definitely a mouth breather and a seagull had shit in his mouth. There isn't enough water to rinse all that out.

[ides1056]

That is supposed to be good luck, no?

I saw after posting that this had been mentioned already.