So now I’m a terrorist bombmaker…

[johnmdesigner]

My last 3 trips to Europe I’ve been taken into the little room and swabbed for explosive residue. I thought it was just bad luck until it was pointed out to me that all my boarding passes are marked “SSSS/“ the stupid name for Secondary Security Screening Selection. I’m 65 and the closest I get to high explosive is the grill in the Japanese BBQ. God what a stupid world. My passport is up for renewal so I imagine I’ll have to jump through hoops to get it done.
Now I have to let my wife carry all the packages of Jamon Iberico.

[steve garro]

My last 3 trips to Europe I’ve been taken into the little room and swabbed for explosive residue. I thought it was just bad luck until it was pointed out to me that all my boarding passes are marked “SSSS/“ the stupid name for Secondary Security Screening Selection. I’m 65 and the closest I get to high explosive is the grill in the Japanese BBQ. God what a stupid world. My passport is up for renewal so I imagine I’ll have to jump through hoops to get it done.
Now I have to let my wife carry all the packages of Jamon Iberico.

I quit flying for this reason - I have so much metal in my body that I set off the detectors from a good ten meters away, they just start going full 5-alarm fire so I just began goign straight to the front and saying yeah, that's me if you just take me to the front all these nice people can get on with their day and then they take me to the little room in the back or better yet all alone in the middle of an unused area far from everyone else surrounded by orange cones and warning tape where they swab me for explosives, which I always fail.
Finally, one guy at IIRC Minneapolis said "Do you use flux?" and I say yeah, I basically eat it and that happens every time but usually worse up to being grilled by homeland security so I said I Quit.

- Garro.

[johnmdesigner]

I shot a flintlock rifle in my 20s. Maybe that’s it.

[gregl]

You can get the "SSSS" designation for any number of reasons. A last minute change in schedule or a one-way ticket will do the trick (ask me how I know...). On the plus side, it gets you out of the long security lines. Over the years, I have spent lots of time at US government test ranges full of ordinance residue. On one trip home from the Yuma Proving Ground, I swear the TSA folks swabbed every exposed part of me and my luggage. I explained to the patient and polite agent that I had just spent two weeks at YPG. He said my dirty clothes and boots were full of nitrates.

Greg

[gt6267a]

curious how this might go with TSA pre-check? does the back round check cancel out the criteria inspiring the special designation?

[htwoopup]

….
Now I have to let my wife carry all the packages of Jamon Iberico.

I wonder if it is the ham. Or specifically the cooler it was kept in at the market. My story which makes me think maybe the ham…

For a couple of years I lived in Seattle for a week alternating with NYC for a week. As I had an apartment in Seattle I never carried anything on the plane except an iPad and an empty gym bag. On the way from Seattle to NY I would always stop at Pike Market a block from the apartment and load the gym bag up with Salmon Belly Jerky and these huge huge frozen lobster tails to bring back. One time when my bag was going through what I thought was just the xray machine, alarms went off and lights started flashing. TSA guys with guns out came running from everywhere. When they interrogated me…and I say interrogated because it was much more nasty toned than asking a question of what was in the bag, I said huge lobster tails. They ran it through again and the TSA agent with more stripes on her arm said “Damn those are big mother lobster tails”.

They then politely explained that the commercial coolers used in stores often use some nitrogen something or other coolant that can somehow still have residue on the packaging which their machines think is some kind of scary-ass bomb.

So, maybe it was a few too many times with ham from a commercial cooler that has you marked as a potential problem.

[johnmdesigner]

I never get nailed in the USA. Only when I land or take off from Europe.

[rwsaunders]

curious how this might go with TSA pre-check? does the back round check cancel out the criteria inspiring the special designation?

I'd say no, or it could just be me, as I fly +100K/year and I get pulled aside for routine screening a few times per year. I have TSA pre-check, Clear and Global Entry...go figure.

[Mark Kelly]

They then politely explained that the commercial coolers used in stores often use some nitrogen something or other coolant that can somehow still have residue on the packaging which their machines think is some kind of scary-ass bomb.

Large scale fridge plants commonly use ammonia (NH₃) as the refrigerant.

BTW the source of the lobster tails should get the ammonia leak fixed.

[j44ke]

My wife got threatened with losing her Global Entry status over a $12 duty fee that she couldn't pay at the time of entry because the duty payment desk at JFK was closed. She came in on a delayed flight at 3AM. She didn't lose it, but she had to go through a detailed bag check (like everything dumped out on a table and sifted through) after every re-entry flight for about 2 years until a kind TSA official in Chicago fixed it.

I think once you get a positive swab you get tagged. I visited a coal mine in Kladno, Czech Republic, while we were living in Prague and wore the same shoes on a flight to the US about a month later. That got me a positive for TNT, so for the next two years I was getting frequent checks every time I flew into the US.

But those are the understandable (but still clearly punitive in my wife's case) causes. There are plenty of people who never find out what happened to merit the special attention. Some algorithm likes you.

[Tom]

Not a bomb, but a knife. When I was a kid I lost my dad's excellent hunting knife somewhere in the woods and felt bad about it because it really was a great knife. Karen and I were tourists in Norway and I saw this great handmade knife and bought it for him. It wasn't cheap. Lots of VAT. We were novices so we thought we had to show it with the receipt to get the tax back. That was past the security checkpoint. I was like, forget the refund. Karen was like, it's just a Troll Knife. Yeah, a four inch blade you could shave with Troll Knife but not being the insistent overbearing type I said OK, let's go for the refund.

The nice young man with the machine gun who escorted us to the back room asked what was that in our bag. We told him the story including the lost knife part and he just rolled his eyes. He informed us the receipt was all we needed.

He then told us he'd box it up, we'd claim it in JFK and if we got through customs with it we could check it to our destination. So I'm in the middle of the JFK baggage claim scrum being elbowed viciously by little old ladies when the first thing off is a little box all wrapped up in Danger! Extremely Hazardous! yellow tape. Suddenly I had all the room I wanted.

My dad really liked that knife, almost forgave me.

[Chik]

Not a bomb, but a knife. When I was a kid I lost my dad's excellent hunting knife somewhere in the woods and felt bad about it because it really was a great knife. Karen and I were tourists in Norway and I saw this great handmade knife and bought it for him. It wasn't cheap. Lots of VAT. We were novices so we thought we had to show it with the receipt to get the tax back. That was past the security checkpoint. I was like, forget the refund. Karen was like, it's just a Troll Knife. Yeah, a four inch blade you could shave with Troll Knife but not being the insistent overbearing type I said OK, let's go for the refund.

The nice young man with the machine gun who escorted us to the back room asked what was that in our bag. We told him the story including the lost knife part and he just rolled his eyes. He informed us the receipt was all we needed.

He then told us he'd box it up, we'd claim it in JFK and if we got through customs with it we could check it to our destination. So I'm in the middle of the JFK baggage claim scrum being elbowed viciously by little old ladies when the first thing off is a little box all wrapped up in Danger! Extremely Hazardous! yellow tape. Suddenly I had all the room I wanted.

My dad really liked that knife, almost forgave me.

That reminds me... I went backpacking in Nepal and India with friends when I was in university. I've never done backpacking prior to that and figured it might be a good idea to take a knife (which it was). It was always in my checked bag.

We got back to London for a few days before heading back to uni. Having had no issues arriving or departing from Heathrow with the knife previously (the knife flew with me in a checked bag from Japan to the US, then the UK, then India/Nepal, and back to the UK), I didn't think I would have any issues flying out this time too. Except for two things.

1) I hadn't realised that balisongs (butterfly knives) are illegal in the UK.

2) It had only been about 13 months since Pan Am #103 got blown to bits over Lockerbie, so security for US-bound flights at Heathrow was extra tight.

They were thoroughly examining all bags before we checked in. Of course, they found the 5" blade balisong in my luggage, and the officer calmly informed me that either they can confiscate the knife and destroy it, or I will face prosecution upon refusal.

I looked at him and almost laughed out loud. I told him, "Right, I think I might opt for the former." And that was the last I saw of my rather nice channel constructed (polished brass) balisong.

Back on topic, sorta, yeah, TSA (personnel and procedure) is the primary reason why I try to minimise trips to the US.

[Bob Ross]

True Story: Our cycle club had a long-standing tradition of hosting a 4th of July weekend ride event out of the West Point campus (aka, the US Military Academy). There are active firing ranges with all manner of ordinance all over the area, and while they generally prohibit civilians from driving/cycling the roads near those ranges during the actual weapons discharge, there is -- apparently -- "explosive residue" in the area.

One year my wife and I and a good friend from the club all went directly from the West Point event to the airport to fly out to California (I think this was for the Markleeville Death Ride, so this woulda been 2010). The missus and I (and our bikes) got through TSA just fine...but our friend was stopped and delayed for several hours because her bike tested positive for "explosive residue"!!!

[j44ke]

TSA can be okay. They have a tough job and the ones doing it right are usually pragmatic without weakening security one iota. I have a nice handmade pocket knife I used to carry everywhere. Small light and the blade is honed from a retired metal file. One trip to visit my wife’s family, I put it in my checked luggage but when I arrived, it was gone. Gddmnt. It was a small enough bag to carry it on, so on the way back home, that’s what I did. TSA pulled me over and a big guy with a side arm (never seen a TSA security gate person with a side arm before or since) asked me what I had in my carryon luggage. I described contents, thinking my toothpaste was too large or shampoo or whatever. He said do you have any metal objects. I said no. Then I said I checked this bag on the way here because I had a favorite pocket knife in the bag but it had disappeared when I unpacked. He said can you reach in your bag in this corner and let me know what you find there. There was nothing. He said try between the suitcase lining and the frame of the bag. And there was my knife. He looked at my ticket and said you have enough time to go back to ticketing and check your bag. And that was that.

But there are no shortage of people working for TSA who would have relished the opportunity to make an example out of me. Also this was a small airport in Virginia. They see guns in carryon bags every day, so in the scheme of things, a knife is just another thing.

[Scott G.]

Don't try to reuse your old Apple Mac 128 bag that was used a Range Bag for carry on luggage.

[johnmdesigner]

In the early 80's my friend in Milan wanted me to bring him a big bag of Apple hardware (this was before Apple was a big thing and a big no-no in Italy). He also wanted one of those Shaker rocking chair kits they used to sell.
I spent a wonderful 45 minutes in the little room with the Carabinieri assembling the unfinished wood bits of the chair while the other duffle bag sat ignored and neglected.

[bigbill]

You can get the "SSSS" designation for any number of reasons. A last minute change in schedule or a one-way ticket will do the trick (ask me how I know...). On the plus side, it gets you out of the long security lines. Over the years, I have spent lots of time at US government test ranges full of ordinance residue. On one trip home from the Yuma Proving Ground, I swear the TSA folks swabbed every exposed part of me and my luggage. I explained to the patient and polite agent that I had just spent two weeks at YPG. He said my dirty clothes and boots were full of nitrates.

Greg

While doing my project in Sardinia for NATO, I had to fly back to the US once a month and brief DOE and DOD guys in DC. Flying from Rome, I had to land at an international airport, go through customs and immigration, then fly domestically to DCA. Dulles wasn't an option. I might arrive in Philly, fly to DCA, do my briefs, fly to Cincinnati, then to Rome. My itinerary was a series of one-way tickets on different airlines. I was stopped at the United ticket counter in Cincinnati while trying to check my bags. My passport wouldn't scan, and I had a blue one, not the US Gov employee one. Two people came from the back office and stood by my side. Then a TSA guy showed up. I was asked for identification, so I showed them my Navy ID card. After many questions, we all laughed, and I was sent on my way with a pass to the United lounge and some drink coupons for the flight.

I had an overnight layover in Rome on one trip because Meridiana had overbooked. I took the Leonardo to Termini and stayed at a familiar hotel a few blocks from the station. I did some shopping and had dinner with Cuban cokes (made with Havana Club Rum). I went to the airport terminal AA, checked my bag, and headed to security. I was wearing a ball cap, and they made me take it off and show it to them before passing through the metal detector. After the detector, I put on my cap and headed down the concourse to a coffee shop. At the coffee shop I realized I had about 7 euros worth of coins in my pocket, right through the detector.

[BBB]

I flew to NZ as a 9 year old. I had a 'gun'. It was plastic. It had different coloured lights and made different sounds in combination with the lights. As it looked gun like, the Air NZ staff kindly removed it from my possession lest I try and hijack the plane with it. They gave it back to me when we got off in NZ as clearly they could see that my 9 year old self was going to terrorise various NZ bad guys with that gun...

[kdawg]

I flew out of London City Airport and they have install the new scanners which means that there's no liquid limit and you don't have to take electronics out of your bag - it was great being able to just put my wallet and phone in the tray with my bag and walk through the scanner - basically no queue too even at a busy time.

The rest of the UK has another year to get that work finished.

As this thread has demonstrated it was pretty arbitrary before - I was once in the line waiting to get scanned and I overhead 2 of the employees talking - I missed a word in the middle but it basically went like "have you been letting [x item] through?" "Yes, I thought that was okay?" "I've been making them all throw them away! hahaha"

They were treating it like a big joke and one of them was happily letting passengers take stuff through that another was destroying - not sure which one of them was correct but it was pretty stupid.

[Chik]

I flew out of London City Airport and they have install the new scanners which means that there's no liquid limit and you don't have to take electronics out of your bag - it was great being able to just put my wallet and phone in the tray with my bag and walk through the scanner - basically no queue too even at a busy time.

The rest of the UK has another year to get that work finished.

As this thread has demonstrated it was pretty arbitrary before - I was once in the line waiting to get scanned and I overhead 2 of the employees talking - I missed a word in the middle but it basically went like "have you been letting [x item] through?" "Yes, I thought that was okay?" "I've been making them all throw them away! hahaha"

They were treating it like a big joke and one of them was happily letting passengers take stuff through that another was destroying - not sure which one of them was correct but it was pretty stupid.

That new scanner tech is great. It'll make life much easier for everyone.

Even before, City was never all that bad because most passengers going through LCY are used to airport procedures so it was rare to have someone causing a bottle neck at security because of unfamiliarity -- quite a different scene compared to Heathrow or Gatwick. And if you're at Stansted or Luton, good luck holding onto your religion.

And yeah, inadequate training leading to inconsistent enforcement is really rather daft.